Guide to Body Neutrality
You will have heard of Body Positivity by now. You can’t avoid it, in 2023 every brand, pop star and social media influencer is shouting from the rooftops to “LOVE YOUR BODY!”
The term Body Positivity, born within the Fat Rights Movements of the early 2000s, has in the past decade become a buzzword with a simple message: the only way out of hating your body is to love it.
The reality is, many of us have spent our entire lives hating our bodies. If deciding to love yourself was that easy, we’d all have done it already.
Enter: Body Neutrality.
Body Neutrality focuses on what your body does for you, rather than what it looks like. The goal of Body Neutrality is to accept your current body without judgement. You may have heard the phrase “The way you look is the least interesting thing about you”? That’s the general idea.
This kind of thinking can be particularly helpful for people with marginalised bodies, like folks who are disabled, fat or gender diverse. It can help ease frustration with a body that disadvantages them in society. A body they maybe can’t love but can learn to accept.
Body Neutrality does not demand that you genuinely and aggressively love your stomach rolls. Rather, consider that your body is a sack of meat and organs that allows you to live the human experience. That is incredible!
Your body allows you to dance, hug and create. You might be able to run, jump, or squat. Your body facilitates your resilience, joy, creativity, and love. All these things are more important functions of your body than appearance.
Why do we all hate our bodies so much?
To understand why Body Neutrality works it can be helpful to know some background on the issue it tackles. Why do we all hate how we look so much? It comes down to money and the patriarchy.
The patriarchy is the system that reinforces men as dominant in society. Money, because it’s harder for brands to sell stuff to people who like themselves.
Brand marketing is built on customer aspiration. That’s why everyone you see in the media has the same, deliberately unattainable, ‘ideal’ body type. These ideals change frequently, but remain consistently euro-centric, occasionally appropriating features from other cultures (big lips, big butts, dark tans) while rejecting people of those cultures as a whole from beauty standards.
The patriarchy benefits from you hating your body in a similar way: it is simply easier to oppress a group of people conditioned to have no self-confidence.
You weren’t born hating your body, but you have been subliminally encouraged to for your entire life. That’s why Body Positivity doesn’t work - it’s too simple a solution for a complex issue. Even if you do genuinely love every part of your body, it isn’t easy to exist outside of conventional beauty standards in current-day Australia.
This isn’t to say you can’t or shouldn’t try to love how your body looks, only to explain why you might be finding that so difficult.
You should be allowed to not love your body, without hating it.
Body Neutrality in the Pole Studio and Gym
Most of us at some point will have set a fitness goal based solely on aesthetics. Hell, it’s not uncommon to have your entire exercise plan built around attaining a certain physique.
Exercising and body image can feel inseparable - particularly if you’ve never exercised for any other reason. Don’t panic! I’m not going to tell you to throw out your lovingly constructed gym plan. To start practising Body Neutrality you only need to consider another perspective.
We all know there are many benefits to working out besides physical changes. In the pole studio, the motivation is nailing the next new trick. This mindset can still leave us feeling upset at our bodies on days when we aren't performing our best. In these moments you can practise Body Neutral thinking by finding value in your workout that accepts your current body without judgement.
There are countless ways you can practise accepting your body in the moment - find one that resonates with you and remind yourself of it every time you exercise. Like the other muscles you are working out, this resolve will strengthen in time.
Body Neutrality offers us the opportunity to enjoy exercise in a whole new way. For some, this may unlock a new level of consistency in your workouts that is difficult to achieve when you’re chasing an ideal body image, that is not only forever changing but often unattainable. Exercise shouldn’t be punishment; it should be a celebration of what your body and mind can do.
Where to begin?
Now that you have the background knowledge, here are some things you can start doing today to begin your Body Neutrality journey:
Social media cleanse (the only kind of cleanse you’ll ever hear me recommend)
Let’s get the advice you’ve heard before out of the way. By social media cleanse I mean going through your ‘following’ list and unfollowing anyone whose posts don’t make you feel good.
My tip while doing this is to keep clear guidelines in mind. It’s like cleaning out your closet: if you’re not strict with yourself, you’re going to end up keeping things you don’t need around anymore.
Challenge negative self-talk
We are all our own harshest critics, but when was the last time you stopped to analyse what that voice in your head was saying? It is scientifically proven that arguing back with negative thoughts can shut them up.
The key is to counter the negative thought with something that resonates with your values. Here are a few examples of phrases that challenge negative self-talk:
“I exercise to care for my body. I am grateful for the signs I need rest”
“My value as a person is not dependent on my ability to complete this exercise”
“My only body goal is healthy and happy”
“It is amazing that my body can create energy out of food”
“I receive joy from moving my body”
“I am proud of the commitment and determination I possess to always show up”
“I am grateful for what my body is capable of today”
Set a non-aesthetic fitness goal
Try setting a new fitness goal that has nothing to do with physical changes. A goal that makes you feel strong, powerful, or accomplished.
Did you join the gym to change the way you look? If that mindset is too hard to shake when you walk through those doors trying a new kind of exercise could help. Try boxing or lifting or pole dancing or any physical activity that inspires you.
Practise redirecting conversations
Not everyone is at the same place in their body acceptance journey and that’s ok! But it’s important that we don’t let others impact our goal of Body Neutral thinking. You can do this by redirecting conversations when the topic of body image comes up.
There are countless ways of doing this, and it might take some tries before it feels natural. Practice with people you trust, practise alone in the mirror, practise on the drive over to that friend's house. The more you do it, the more confident you’ll be in re-directing conversations that don’t make you feel good about yourself.
Self-Compassion
Patience, kindness and understanding for yourself will be the most important tools in your tool kit through this journey. When it comes down to it, Body Neutrality is largely about just learning to be nicer to ourselves.
Lifelong habits aren’t broken overnight, and every single one of these steps will get easier with repetition and practice. Let go of punishing yourself, there’s a reason things feel hard.
It’s hard work. But on the other side is a life less consumed with concern over what our body looks like, and filled with more love for all the brilliant things we are capable of.
Your Author - JAYY BURR
Jayy (they/them) is a creative, thinker and pole dancer from Melbourne, Australia. Jayy is a Vertical Flex ambassador and occasionally writes articles for us. Jayy’s aim as an ambassador is to give a students perspective of Vertical Flex classes and the community surrounding it. Their favourite pole trick is the #pdflatline and their favourite Vertical Flex class is Aerial Conditioning.
Feel free to check in with Jayy to ask about classes, their articles or their own fitness and pole experiences.
@heyjayyb on instagram
