Self-care and staying connected – looking after your mental health during lockdown
Luminous pink hearts glow over a blurry background.
Our mental health is just as important as our physical health, and right now we are all experiencing a collective trauma. Our way of life has been suspended and some trauma councillors have even likened the feelings we are currently experiencing to grief.
But there are a few things you can do to help your mental health and general wellbeing during this difficult time, particularly when screaming into a pillow feels like it has done more damage to your lungs than COVID-19.
Stay connected through technology:
While Zoom, Facetime and Skype can put too much social pressure on us right now with the expectation that you should (probably?) brush your hair, you do need to find ways to stay connected with your loved ones (or even just people you can moderately stand to talk to).
Humans are social creatures, and we need contact with others to improve both our mental and physical health. The reduction in physical contact can also cause a range of health issues (did you know a hug can not only improve your mental health, but actually strengthen your immune response?), so we need to find ways to reduce our stress levels right now – and contact is an important way to do this.
Positive social support can help us deal with stress and the physical and mental side effects it presents. When talking to others, make sure you are finding ways to bring up positive news, however small, and are not just focusing on the negativity of COVID-19. Arrange a virtual cocktail hour, dinner, or lunch break together to increase the feeling of socialisation.
There are also some exciting new apps to try out. While some Netflix programs could double as sensory deprivation chambers since they’re so mind-numbingly boring, there is now a way to make even the worst movies ever made a lot of fun on a Friday night.
Netflix Party is actually a pretty great app that creates the illusion that you’re in the same room with your friends. You need Chrome to access the feature, and every member of the party will need to download the app prior to watching the movie (but it only takes a minute). One person then activates ‘the party’ by hitting the NP feature in the top of their browser, which gives them a link to share. Once everyone who wants to join has clicked on the link the movie synchs you all up so you’re watching it together. The best part? There is a chat room feature at the side, which, if you’re funnier than the film’s writers (which is a low bar to set to be honest), allows for more entertainment than the film itself.
If you can, make sure you’re checking in on anyone living alone and invite them along.
Screen time:
A man’s hand takes a photo of nature, with his natural surroundings blurred out behind the phone’s camera.
When not connecting with friends and family, try and reduce your dependence on screen time. We’re using screens more to get through social distancing, but this can cause issues with sleep, headaches, as well as other complications that will have you feeling worse. Try unplugging a little each day, even if you have a no screen rule while you go on your daily walk.
Safe space:
A candle burns near a window, next to a pillow, journal, matches and a hot drink.
Since you’re spending so much time in the one space, it can begin to feel a little cramped and suffocating. Studies have also shown that being in an untidy environment can make it harder to focus; can impact your mental health; and since your mind can generally only hold onto a few details at once, it can overload your memory. These effects are especially prevalent in women.
Especially right now, mess can also feel like a physical manifestation that everything is out of control – so it’s more important than ever that you clear out the pizza boxes and run the vacuum over the cat fur to keep your space from adding to your mental clutter. Try burning a candle, playing some music, placing photos of loved ones around, and keeping your space as organised as you can.
Make a plan:
A yearly planner is surrounded by a rose-gold pen and drawing pins.
While no one is missing the sound of a screaming alarm at 6am, unless you are the parent of a small child and you can’t escape it (sorry), one of the biggest consequences of self-isolation is the breakdown of our routines.
Routines offer us some parameters of what to expect, and what is expected of us, day to day. Having this crumble drastically and suddenly during self-isolation has impacted us all, and has created so many unknowns that are affecting our health, sleep, stress levels and mood.
The temptation for many is to lie down on the couch and let time pass us by. While this can be a coping mechanism that your body puts you in to remove you from the stresses of reality, ignoring other areas of your life can make you feel guilty about wasting your time and stressed about ignoring other aspects of your life – so it’s important to try and have some focus throughout the day.
Make a daily plan:
Start with work hours, and things that can increase your sense of achievement, such as exercise or doing your laundry, and mark them in.
Make sure you factor in some time for fun – reading, movies, a cup of tea, hugs with your pet, baths – whatever is getting you through isolation right now.
Add in some constructive projects where possible. Want to upcycle that cabinet in the corner or paint a room? If inspiration strikes go for it, but don’t feel like you need to renovate your entire house during lockdown.
If you do this where you can and without overloading yourself with too much, your mood and sleep should hopefully start to improve.
Diet:
Small bowls of pudding with fruit are surrounded by utensils and fresh strawberries.
If your current interpretation of the food pyramid is that pizza can pass as a bread, wine is a fruit (especially if it’s in sangria), and Nando’s has you covered for poultry, then I hate to break it to you – the food pyramid is pretty flawed to begin with.
The best nutritional advice is to eat widely (and to only eat certain foods, like the ones above, occasionally and in small amounts). Eatforhealth.gov.au is currently the best endorsed model for eating healthy, and if you go to their website you can check out the Australian Guide to Healthy Eating to see the plate diagram.
As always, drink plenty of water, and remember that not all of your meals need to have a meat component - don’t forget about your leafy greens!
That said, don’t feel bad for having an extra row of chocolate at night. Give yourself a break, understand that this is an exceptionally difficult time, and whatever you need to do to get through it – including a little extra self-care – is perfectly healthy. Be kind to yourself.
Exercise:
A woman in bright orange pants and a white tank top does sit-ups in her home.
The weather isn’t great right now in Melbourne, but if you can, try and get outside a bit every day (while maintaining social distancing measures). Being outside can improve your mood (which we all need some help with right now), as well as your concentration and general health.
Also try and find fun ways to exercise safely at home (walking from the couch to the fridge for more wine doesn’t count, sorry). Now that we’re sitting a lot more, 30 minutes of exercise a day is more crucial than ever to keep us fit and healthy and prevent metabolic problems. I offer some fun group classes online that are only $10 (and the first one is free!) – why not try combining your exercise with some socialisation to get yourself moving?
If you’re working from home, remember to also check your desk setup, take small breaks, and rotate your neck and shoulders frequently.
Not every thought you have is worth listening to:
A journal has the words ‘THOUGHT CATALOG’ written on one page in capital letters. Two pens are placed over the top of it.
Sometimes our brains have a mind of their own. Overthinking, especially about negative things, can really take hold in times of stress – and while it can be challenging to admit that not every thought we have is particularly intelligent, there are a range of techniques you can try when you need to get your thoughts under control.
Emptying our minds is often easier said than done, but with so much stupidity streaming into our brains from the online sphere, it’s more important than ever that we try a mental clean out. Try breathing deeply for three seconds, holding the breath in your lungs for three seconds, before releasing it for three seconds. Breathing techniques help relax you, and this one will slow your mind down and switch your focus from your mind to your body.
Use your senses to anchor you to the moment, rather than letting your mind take over. Think of one thing you can see in front of you, one thing you can taste, one thing you can hear, one thing you can touch, and one thing you can smell. Take your time with each one and focus on it while you feel your breath coming in and out of your body. This can help you feel more present in your surroundings and less lost in your mind.
Visualise an image, such as a STOP sign, to force your thoughts on pause.
Try writing down your thoughts. Do not pass judgement on them, do not stop to think or try to organise them, just write them down as they come to you. This can help remove thoughts from your mind as you put them on paper, and it’s especially good if your overactive mind is keeping you from sleep.
Don’t try and fight your feelings – you won’t win. The natural impulse is often to try and push our negative feelings away, but, as strange as it might sound, a recommended way of self-care is to instead acknowledge and care for them, no matter how painful they are. One way to do this is a simple visualisation exercise. Imagine something that comforts you – a favourite blanket, a pet, a beloved book – and imagine your emotion is being tended to by that comfort. It might be closing your eyes and picturing your blanket being wrapped around your sadness; your pet cuddling your fear; or placing your anger gently in a book to be kept safe. Breathe through the exercise and let yourself experience that emotion. You’ll have a better chance of gaining control over it and moving on, rather than it constantly fighting you for headspace.
Challenge your negative thoughts. This can be very difficult, but it’s a good way to not get lost down an emotional rabbit hole. It might simply mean asking probing questions of yourself or challenging your negativity with positive things you’ve achieved that week.
There are also some great apps you can use to get through anxiety. Headspace and Smiling Mind offer some great ones.
If you feel like you need more support, get in contact with your GP for a referral to a psychologist (a lot of practitioners are offering bulk-billed phone consultations right now), or look up services like BeyondBlue or Lifeline.
You’re doing better than you think you are.
Spontaneity is a bit lost right now but that’s OK. There are smaller things you can do each week to keep life interesting. Try a different recipe, watch a film from a different genre you’d never normally enjoy, or do something out of the ordinary for you (like pick a book or board game up if you haven’t in a while). You don’t have to learn a new language or skill – this is hardly the most inspiring time to attempt to decipher the Rosetta stone – so don’t put pressure on yourself with big goals. Remember to be kind to yourself and just do small things that bring you joy so you remember that the unexpected isn’t always bad.
What’s something good that’s happened to you this week? Tag me in your Instagram post @atmosphere_training
